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The Lollipop Man

Various Artists - The Mother of all Morris
Chorus: trad. Verses: © Jim Causley, Paul Wilson & Marilyn Tucker 2007

Oh the lollipop man has a great big stick
And all that he charges is a penny a lick
And he gets it out whenever he can
He’s a dirty old devil is the lollipop man

Who is this with his spurty spout?
A dribbly cone, you can suck it all out
And a knicker-knocker glory, it’s the ice-cream man
But he cannot hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with his grimy sack?
You can have it up the front or he’ll shove it round the back
With his sooty old nuts it’s the dirty coalman
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with his long stiff brush?
He rams it up the flu with a shove and a push
And he doesn’t give a toss; he’s the chimney sweep man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

And who is this with his floppy mop?
It’s long and it’s wet with a foam on top
Well he’s squeaky clean; it’s the window cleaner man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with a silver top?
It’s nothing that a little blue-tit can’t pop
With his manly jugs it’s the creamy milkman
But he cannot hold a candle to the lollipop man

And who is this with his petticoats gay?
Powder puff and curly wig and lingerie
Well it’s old Mollybags, neither woman nor a man
But she’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this taking down your draws?
He never ever shoots and he seldom scores
Well it’s never jackpot with the Littlewoods man
And he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with the long bent fruit?
He peels back the skin and he slips on his suit
Well his real name’s Eric, he’s Banana Man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man